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$5.95The Story
The Velicowrangler ain’t your average cowboy. While most wrangle cattle, he’s ridin’ a full-grown velociraptor—a prehistoric powerhouse no one else’s been bold (or crazy) enough to tame. But he managed it, somehow.
His secret? Not strength. Not courage. Just chips and salsa—real salsa. Try showin’ up with a jar of Pace and see what happens. Actually, don’t. Just ask One-Handed John how that gamble turned out.
With a lasso like lightning and a swagger that turns heads at the saloon, some say he was born 75 million years too late. Others figure he’s just a cowboy ahead of his time, redefining what it means to ride.
But one thing’s certain—when you see him cruisin’ by, raptor claws hittin’ the dirt and a bowl of salsa in hand, you know you’re lookin’ at a legend.
Description
The Velicowrangler ain’t your average cowboy. While most wrangle cattle, he’s ridin’ a full-grown velociraptor—a prehistoric powerhouse no one else’s been bold (or crazy) enough to tame. But he managed it, somehow.
His secret? Not strength. Not courage. Just chips and salsa—real salsa. Try showin’ up with a jar of Pace and see what happens. Actually, don’t. Just ask One-Handed John how that gamble turned out.
With a lasso like lightning and a swagger that turns heads at the saloon, some say he was born 75 million years too late. Others figure he’s just a cowboy ahead of his time, redefining what it means to ride.
But one thing’s certain—when you see him cruisin’ by, raptor claws hittin’ the dirt and a bowl of salsa in hand, you know you’re lookin’ at a legend.
